Vision of Life; by Sanjay: Being Greatful is Growing Up !

“With every passing year most people age but a very few grow & being grateful for those years is one sure sign of growing up”… Me (lol)

Dear Dada & Chota,

First, I am grateful to you both as it gives me one more opportunity to write on my birthday & analyze my own process of ageing or growing up, whatever we can call it! Though this birthday is more special as I will turn fifty-five & no more can consider myself in fifties or youth in the eyes of the society around & then Dada will get married this December so I will become Father-in-Law which again is sign of you being labeled as elder person in the society! Few years earlier these things would have scared me (if not on surface but within) & now also when I think it does gives me weird feeling, as I look back & can see you two as toddlers or wearing school uniform & going to school & look today, you are all grownup & one of you is now starting his own innings as a grown-up man & I am father of a married man, wow! I look in the mirror & reality of the age hits me , the thinned gray hair, bent posture, pain in the ankle while I take first step of the day, damaged knee & suddenly the face staring at me seems different & it’s not me & the birthday vibes of fun & enjoyment take the back seat! But don’t worry, what I wrote is what happens to them who just age with every birth day & this is what I see around me as many of my friends if are happy on one side for their son/ daughter getting married then deep within are unhappy or sad that they have aged now & no more they will be considered as young or happening & I don’t blame them as that’s what happens when you don’t understand growing up!

This is why I said I am thankful to you both (and your genre) as while following this ritual of writing to you on my birthday I learned meaning of growing up or say started learning, as the process is on yet & destination hasn’t yet arrived! But, in the years I started understanding so many thing or we can say started looking at the things differently as if on one side these years has given me scars, pain , hurt, insults, fear & deteriorated my body then these years has given me so many wonderful things, they have given me you two as well moments with my dear ones (though that list is small but moments are many) as I could read so many books, could travel in many places, have interacted with many young minds , could meet with a few wise personalities & most importantly every day of these years has taught me something new & has kept me alive to use what I have learnt! Dada & Chota, its these years which told me how lucky I am to have parents who were teachers as that has helped me to keep myself always a student & value life on the terms like right & wrong & stay by that! And equally important is your role as presence of aaji , abbu has made me think about what my parents will think of me if I do something wrong & now its your presence around keeps me on the track as the way I look back to my parents & respect them for what they are, some day you two will look at me & that time you should not feel ashamed of the way I chose for life, at least I can try keeping this aspect in mind.

And now Dada, it’s your turn to take ahead the ballet & your challenges are way higher than mine as I have had a strong middleclass upbringing which if was hurdle to make things big then on the other side was boon or my strength to be on right path & be happy with whatever I have been able to achieve! Your father may not be middle class by finance or resources angle but never forget what values I live by, rather make best of both aspects of me & your grandparents, is the way ahead for you! In the day-to-day personal life, I have stopped ordering or asking you both to do this or do that as you have grown beyond that & on that front, I have completed my duty but duty or parenting never ends actually; just the way you do it that changes, is what I have learnt! And I must say I am happy for the journey till now of which credit goes to you both & all the people around which has made me lucky on many fronts of life , a lot luckier than millions of people in this society & I am grateful for that! Dada & Chota, this is my growing up as life gives us many things & takes away also a few but most of the time we end up thinking we are at loss as we keep up looking at loss-side of life; being grateful helps us to look more often at gain-side & that’s the way to be at peace, I am deliberately not saying being happy as some day you will understand the difference between these terminology by yourself!

I think the dosage even though yearly is near complete & let me narrate this year’s learnings in ten pointers (finally), here we go…

1. Never stop yourself from helping someone to get up who has fallen…

2.Never stop yourself from giving what you have in your plate to someone who is hungrier than you…

3.Never stop yourself from applauding to someone who is looking for some supporting cheering…

4.Never stop yourself from standing beside someone who is fighting for being right…

5.Never stop yourself from crying when you feel to cry…

6.Never stop yourself from saying thanks to someone, seen or unseen who has helped you in some way at some stage of life…

7.Never stop yourself from believing in what you feel right even if the world says you are wrong… (but for that first decide & define your right & wrong)

8.Never stop yourself from bowing your head in front of wisdom when you sense some…

9.Never stop yourself from learning a new thing however silly it may look…

and,

10.Never stop yourself from sharing your luck with someone who isn’t fortunate to be as lucky as you are…

Dada & Chota, when I look in the mirror with this realization & now the face staring at me is very much familiar, fresh rather smiles back at me, telling me that he is grateful for everything he has gained from the fifty-five years being with me; thanks once again to you both along with Nikhil, Ketki, Rohit M, Shruti, Siya & Tanisha & all young brigade & yes Disney, Marvel, DC guys too, for my growing up!

Sanjay Deshpande

smd156812@gmail.com

Sanjeevani Dev.

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