-
“A father is not just a biological term; he
is an entire education system... only the fortunate ones get admission here”…
Me
Baba,
92 years... "Babu Moshai, zindagi lambi nahi,
badi honi chahiye" (Life should be grand, not just long)... For many years,
I couldn't grasp the true meaning of this dialogue—what difference did it make
whether life was grand or long? Didn't both essentially mean large or long
enough? But looking at Baba, I came to realize that life can be both—grand as
well as long!
Baba, you lived entirely on your own terms and
left the world just the same! Just six months ago, on your birthday, even
though you looked tired in the picture, I have captioned it, “I am old, not Obsolete.” But then every journey must come
to an end somewhere, sometime... and all that remains behind are the memories
of the life journey! Among the countless lessons you imparted, a passion for
cinema was one—and perhaps one of our very few shared traits; which is why
movie references come in so handy whenever I need to express myself! Looking at
today's kids (including my own), seeing their expectations from their father
(and mother too), and their reactions when those expectations aren't met—by
those standards, we should have committed suicide every single day & this
is not sarcasm or ! And it wasn't your fault at all; rather, we were the most
fortunate to have a father who gave zero importance to us or our emotions.
Because only then, when we eventually achieved so much later in life, did we
understand the true value of everything—and that respect for its worth stayed
with us forever!! Back then, all fathers were like that; so, thank you for
following the right path and keeping us grounded at all times!
Baba, the greatest gift you gave us was
discipline! Because of that, all the subsequent lessons became easier to
understand and put into practice. We didn't talk every day, nor did we have the
convenience of phone calls when we were far apart, yet there was always a Wi-Fi
connection... invisible, but deeply felt! you didn't pamper us in the
conventional sense, though you punished us plenty; but that is precisely what
taught us that even affection comes with a price. And most importantly, the
realization that while everything can be bought or borrowed, mental toughness
and the willingness to take responsibility are things you have to build within
yourself! and yes, preserving self-respect through it all (which many might
mistake for ego)—that was the very lesson, the “Muz par ek ahesaan karna ki
muzpar koi ahesan na karna”wala
attitude! That's your gift to me, lol!! And you did sacrifice your own desires
for the sake of responsibility as a dad! In our locality in Khamgaon, the first
refrigerator came to our house, the first color TV came to our house, the first
land line phone came to our house... all because of your fondness for these
things! You had a strong desire to buy a four-wheeler, but keeping only our
education and our settled lives in mind, you set your own wish aside. You never
spoke it out loud, yet we understood it—and the lesson behind it too!
And the habit of writing down an account of expense
of even ten paise ... that still serves me well in business today! Though you
were a teacher, I was never your student in the conventional sense, yet you
were always my 'class teacher' in the classroom of life, that makes me the most
lucky student! Many things were never explicitly said or heard between us, but
that certainly never created any distance! and yes, your love for plants...
that is why, without caring about 'what people will say,' we mixed your ashes
into the soil of all the pots on our terrace! Today, if your soul is lingering
around, that is entirely your own choice; because even today, I do not have the
authority or strength to tell you what you shoud do!
All I can say is, you are no longer physically
here, but your presence will always be with us. And the path you expected me to
walk on will remain my path—because it was, and always will be, the right path!
and I will try my absolute best to ensure that Rohit, Rohan, Nikhil, and Ketaki
walk on it too... This is my and Neeta's tribute to you!!
(I am writing on Neeta's behalf as well; firstly,
because she took maximum care of you, more than a son would have done (read as
me), and secondly, because she wouldn't be able to write all this—a fact you
would know well, lol!!)
Your Son and Daughter (with all, even bagira)
Oh yes, something your grandsons’ wrote to me,
thanks to you as you are the cause they wrote to me which actually is a tribute
to you only….
“You are more than what you have become.”
— Mufasa, The Lion King
Dear Baba,
I am sure Abbu must have never told you
the above words, but for sure he must have felt
it.....For five years after Aai passed
away, you wrote letters to us. Through those letters, you
shared your thoughts, memories, worries,
hopes and, most importantly, your love.
Abbu lived a long and full life of 90
years. That means 90 years of memories, struggles,
happiness, family and so many stories that
will always stay with us. But no matter how old
we become, I don't think anyone is ever
ready to lose a parent. Today, we don't just see you
as our father. We also see you as a son
who has lost his father.
The relationship between a father and his
sons is a funny one. There is a lot of love, but
somehow nobody says it....... Instead,
love comes in the form of advice, lectures, arguments,
scolding and the famous, “Ata tu motha
jhalays tari baapacha aaikat jaa kadhitari” which
every son knows that he should at least
think about it. We are sure you and Abbu had your
own version of this.
There must have been so many times when
you disagreed with him, got angry with him or
thought he was being too strict. We can
say this confidently because we have gone through
the same things with you. Maybe that is
how fathers pass down their love, a little love, a lot
of scolding and a lot of advice.
So much of who we are comes from you, just
as so much of who you are came from Abbu.
His habits, his values, his strength, his
stubbornness and probably many things you once
promised yourself you would never do when
you became a father — but ended up doing
exactly the same even before you realised
that, and when you do realise you definitely carry a
smile in that moment. And one day,
unfortunately for our children, we will probably do the
same.
The lessons a father gives his sons don't
always come through words. Sometimes we learn
simply by watching how he lives, how he
takes care of his family and how he stays strong
when things get difficult. I know there is
nothing we can write that will make losing your
father easier. But we want you to know
that today, you don't always have to be the strong
father you have been for us. Today, you
can simply be his son. Remember him. Miss him.
Talk about him. Laugh about the things he
did. Remember the arguments, beatings the good
times and even all the advice that you
later realised was right. Also now it will be easier for
you talk to him......where he will listen
and just give signs which only you will understand.
Love you,
Rohit & Rohan
-
Sanjay Deshpande
smd156812@gmail.com
Sanjeevani Dev.
Please view my sharing about finding a Right
Home/ Office in Pune, at YouTube link below & share if liked..
https://youtu.be/27j3I3rwGPQ?si=-ODYBxVI2Dl_C345
Please do visit my blog links below to read about real
estate & home buying!
https://visonoflife.blogspot.com/2025/12/pune-real-estate-in-2026.html
https://jivnachadrushtikon.blogspot.com/2024/12/2025.html
https://jeevnachadrushtikon.blogspot.com/2026/08/
Creating Togetherness; team Sanjeevani Way (Click link below)
https://www.flickr.com/photos/65629150@N06/albums/72157627904681345
For any of your complaints about city, log in at link below
www.punecorporation.org
Think Green, Think Life
www.sanjeevanideve.com / https://junglebelles.in/
Posts
