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“Best wealth a father can leave behind for his son is, wealth of character” …
I know, character, morals, values, principles & such terms are not for today’s world yet one thing is equally true, even a thousand people start following a wrong thing yet it's still a wrong thing, is what I have always believed & what you believe becomes your character. So even if I may be a fool in the eyes of my sons, yet I (read as father) shouldn’t stop, first teaching & later sharing right things with my sons (or daughter) as there only is hope of a better society of tomorrow! And if we don’t do it thinking this genre doesn’t respect our words of sharing’s so why waste, then we too are just like them in a way, so I keep doing my bit! And I share such sharing with only one thought, somewhere some father may do something better for his son & help to make the world a shade better! I have been writing to my sons since they were twelve-year kids, I really don’t know what effect my letters (sharing) have made on them but it has done sure some effect on me as every year I sole search myself, world around us with new vision & I try to think like him (my son) as what will he like to know from me & that in a way connects me with myself in the process. If you feel this is too Philo thing (plz google) then this is genre of “Delulu is the Solulu”, which means by developing or say respecting delusional mindset i.e. Delulu means self-believing, optimistic, positive etc etc only can find the best solutions i.e. Solulu! As on one hand our genre thinks about the next genre is they are lost, non-committed, irresponsible, luckier than us & at the same time this genre must be thinking about us as non-understanding, over caring, conservative, impatient i.e. old fashioned! Weird world isn’t it, but that’s how most people look at the change & I am thankful to my sons who teach me to get along with the change by allowing me to share my such thoughts, though via letter & once in a year only, that’s my self-accepted return gift by them!
Watching your kids grow is a wonderful process only if you learn not to attach yourself to them much, is what I have learnt or say feel or say believe (does it matters?) & that surely doesn’t mean don’t do your duty! What not to get attached means, don’t try to make your son your copy or expect him to follow your rights & wrongs, but don’t give-up trying to teach them what you have learnt from life & let them choose their right & wrong! And when I look back at the letters I have shared in the past to my sons (thankfully I have kept most of them) then it brings smile on my face, as from quotes of Disney, to Marvels, to Batman & today of Don Corleone, how the journey has changed its tracks but not the direction, that’s important & someday my sons will understand, if they want to survive in right way. Again, that’s my perception, as they may survive & succeed in far better ways than I can imagine & with believing in the things which I consider wrong. But that’s ok as after all, what more can a father expect from his son than to prove the father wrong & succeed in his own way, right? So, go ahead, if you are still holding your senses even after reading the nonsense till now, keep reading…
12th May 25
Happy B’day
"Women and children can afford to be careless, but not men."…Don Vito Corleone
"A man who doesn't spend time with his family can never be a real man."… Don Vito Corleone
“Never hate your enemies. It affects your judgment.”… Don Vito Corleone
Dear Dada,
Tell me which father writes his son on his B’day with quotes of a mob person as guidance but then first I was never a normal father & second, this is no more guidance but sharing of facts & facts are brutal! Rather only those men who has courage to face the truth should ask for it is what I always have believed & as I said I share that only what I believe so first you also have to believe in something to understand what I have shared, is disclaimer at start!
This is your 30th Bday & now you are a grown-up man in the eyes of the society, no more even young boy also & you are already walking on the path of having a family & I am sure not all the facts shared by Don Corleone are right as everybody has to choose his own right for that. The first quote for example, what he meant is no offence to women & kid or gender biasness but here Men means the one who is earning for the family & it can be a lady of the house also & in many cases even the kids need to earn for survival which fortunately you weren’t needed to do! Dada, first two quotes may seem crossing each other but they are not as that’s actually keeping two compartments of life separate, at business (read as work) you are nobody’s husband, son or brother & at home you are everybody’s somebody & never allow these two things get mixed up, is what Don meant & that’s why he may be a criminal but a wise criminal! Of late things has changed a lot in the outer world of our office & home & uncertainty is the future & that’s why you have to be most careful in every role you will be playing & just mind one thing, your survival may it be physical or financial, if you don’t care for it, no body else will, simple fact of life!
Now, what I would gift you, as you have practically everything what a man of your age would desire (most men) & I know you love living lavish, but I also know that’s the worst curse, its just like having a sweet tooth! Dada, spending is something where most men goes wrong even though they may be good at earning. On this front you & me are 360 degrees different but that’s ok, you will learn you own lessons provided you survive for accommodating what you have learnt, is the key! Coming back to gifting you, I would gift you my mistakes, my poor judgment of people, my wrong habits & if you are wondering what kind of father I am for gifting you such things then what I meant is its all these things which has made me understand myself & life in much better way & I have paid a great price for earning these gifts & as a father I wish you can learn from them without paying that price. As physical wealth, whatever I will leave for you, if you don’t have capacity to protect or handle that wealth, it will leave you one way or other & I want you to be a wise man, respected for his character more than a wealthy man, that’s my return gift if you can gift me!
About the third quote by Don, I will say don’t ever make enemies in the first place & in case you do just let them never know that they are your enemy! Go ahead, make friends, earn their love & respect as that’s far more costly affair than earning money as it requires a lot more than toughness & intelligence which is kindness, courage & ability to stand by right things, which you will! Last but not the least, be grateful to everybody around & never forget you Mother in right way, think over what it means, I am always around to support!
Baba, Aaji, Abbu, Aatya, Kiran kaka & all younger lot.
Sanjay Deshpande
Sanjeevani Dev.
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https://visonoflife.blogspot.com/2024/12/right-home-buying-in-2025.html
https://jivnachadrushtikon.blogspot.com/2024/12/2025.html
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