-
“Time is never
wasted, what you waste is your own life”...
Indeed time is crawling as with nearly 40 days of lockdown, most
have even stopped counting days as in Pune region it seems even the second
edition (third actually) of lockdown is likely to get extension. So, I too geared
up for philosophy about the time & its utility. As right from office work
to perusing personal hobbies to public relations & social work also, nothing
stops at least not for forty days & I am not referring to myself but for every
one of us! We are so used to some routine whatever it may be but each of us
that some break we all need & we have it in the form of outing which we
call holiday. But to be locked in our own home & still call it as a break
is something not many of us are comfortable with! Now the first shock wave of
locking down is over as well the fear wave is receding as the virus will remain
here for a while is what most of the people (who cares) has understood &
accepted, so now it’s about adjusting the routine ahead, isn’t it?
Major problem with
many (read as man of the house) was & is, to adjust with people at home all
the time especially with kids & that includes kids of all age groups. I
know as usual most men will boost that they have great bonding & rapport
with their kids & absolute no problem but then most men rarely accepts
their weakness (read as failures) especially on personal fronts! So, no wonder that
you will get to see posts of FB as well Insta about how a man is enjoying doing
daily chores with the family during lockdown & how wonderful he feels, but that’s
mask of a family man as or else all the jokes of whatsap hasn’t been shared
(read as forwarded) so many times which all revolves around a man getting bored
& bugged by home duty! Well, the scene isn’t different for the woman of the
house also but that’s different story & a woman is something even gods haven’t
understood, so I focus myself on the man of the house & the kids. Where the
kids are yet in schools, the problems may be bit less as they still are
supposed to (not used to) follow orders & more mummy oriented, so the daddy
gets breather as well they don’t much interfere in daddy things! But the teens as well more than teens, well I
am sure my genre must be having great time knowing about their siblings. Each
of us, ask your own self when last you have spent more than three straight days
at your home, not going out anywhere & fully with your grown up kids? I
bait not even one man will say, I did; as that was never imagined & here we
are, already spent nearly forty days & sure many ahead for Pune , Mumbai
region! So, what you have done in last forty days except counting days is what
one should ask his self & write down, seriously, it will be a great soul
searching (read as self knowing). Do include how you find your kids individually
(if more than one) as well do ask your kids how they find you (your behavior)
in this period as a father, as a man of the home! As right from sharing TV time
to helping for home things to chatting with them on different subjects to
making them realize how this thing is going to change life or knowing what they
think about the impact on their life or future, so many things you must have
discussed (if not, than try it). So, when this lockdown as well epidemic ends (some day it
will) , whether it has made any change in you or you will be back to yourself,
the way you were before lock down, is what will decide what you are really
within!
Well, about myself, there has been clashes, heated arguments as
my two sons are well grown up & sharing is something they have bit
forgotten as well none of them was used to spend so much time (read as all the
time) at home & handling each other full time. And I can understand it’s an
open jail or let’s say that Big Boss thingy (I have never once watched that)
actually where few people are confined together in a home & are not allowed
to leave the home without permission of some unseen Big Boss entity! Here too, many of us has started again knowing each other
after staying so many days together; strange isn’t it, as some days in real
closeness of a person & we come to know how less we were knowing him or her
actually even with years of so called togetherness! And it tests your
nerves as it’s difficult to accommodate people all the time around you but
actually it’s more difficult to digest that you can’t even walkout from the
scene! Surprisingly with nature of my work & thanks to my hobbies of
writing or reading or thinking as well having luxury of staying next to my work
place, I could keep myself much at ease (cool) in compare to many others (till
now at least), is what my sons’ commented which I take it as a praise. Yet when
you are a father you need to do the daddy stuff i.e. play it cool, even the
praise from your kids & keep lecturing them in your own way, so I did! Here
is something I shared to my sons; many will find its boring as personal stuff
but then what better way to share than sharing personal example of handling
lockdown at home there could have been! And then you always have an option
while reading to quit... lol. Btw its whatsap message, so forgive the language
on grammar front!
Dear chota (&
dada) read what I am writing keenly as no one else will take efforts to write
or care to tell u these things (is what I think)...
U r 23 plus &
indeed u r a good but no more a boy, u r young man & difference
between a boy & a man is, a man knows & acts on his own. Difference between
good man & rest others is a good man knows what to do & why, in greater
good for all, then only u end up earning respect!! Right now u are obeying what I tell u but it’s not
the goal, agreed we all are tied up to home but ur mind is not tied or lockdown
rather we only can lockdown our mind which most of people does despite this
physical lockdown that’s why they can’t achieve what they want to!
Even in these times
u can make ur own schedule & just an hour u can keep for video game
type entertainment, I am not against video game as now u or dada don’t
have studies yet real life exams are ever on now is what I both are
forgetting! Whatever initiatives I am asking u to do, right from social work to
make e brouture or following people & conference calls, all this can come
to your mind also but it doesn’t as ur mind is yet not tuned to what u want to
really become!!
A lion can make a
kill & give it to his cub & his cub may click a snap with the kill
& post snap on Insta, will the world believe its kill by d cub? Mind
it, if u want to take the ship further ahead, u only have to take steering in
hand & no one will tell u that.
Now about taking ship of any business in hand, here the
only way to do it is first gain respect in the minds of the crew for what u are
by ur knowledge & commitment towards the job at hand & not by whom u
are born to! And knowledge doesn’t
come by keeping awake late, playing video games & waking up late!! Read,
watch, speak, listen, think, share & ask; are the only ways to gain
knowledge! I won’t now say do this & do that as that phase is gone for u
both, all I can do is put in front of u what I think or feel about u & u both are free to chose what to take out of
it!
It’s like a buffet now, as till now life was order
oriented & u were getting served what I ordered. But in buffet choice
is urs only & do mind in buffet most men end up eating what they like
to eat & not always what we like most, is good for health!!
Every genre thinks next generation is luckier than theirs as
u got so many things which we never dreamt off but I never think so, as nothing
in life comes free even if u may feel so. Your challenges are far bigger &
different, like the perks u have got in life & my genre has given ur
generation all the perks but most of us has forget, to give the strength or
capacity to digest or carry those perks was also ours & we blame you
guys for our failures of doing so!
But then if 50%
fault lies with us then u, who are now young men also are responsible as the
way u demanded the perks from us, u should demand the strength also to
carry the load of the perks which as a man is expected from u!
Life somewhere in
growing up becomes an open school , class is on, if u want to join & learn
or bunk it & get lost in fun till it’s too late to get back in the class, u
only have to decide , of-course if at all someday u want to become a class
teacher by yourself, then only!
So, think what I
have said & why & act up on if feel it’s useful as believe me nobody
bothers what u become in ur life, except two or three persons & I happen to
be one of them!!
If u read till this
line, I will feel great, if not, well I am a class teacher & my class
continues, awaiting students who wants to walk in & learn!!
Baba
--
Sanjay
Deshpande
Sanjeevani
Dev.
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