Growing Up, a Journey is On!

“Someday you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again.”… C.S. Lewis.

Clive Staples Lewis was a British novelist, poet, academic, medievalist, literary critic, essayist, lay theologian, broadcaster, lecturer, and Christian apologist & the person who wrote book like The Chronicles of Narnia! And who better than him can say words like above when it comes to aging & fairy tales as it’s the fairy tales like Narnia which keeps us in childhood mode always! That way now writing though not fairy tales, has become part of life & when I visit my own blog “Vision of Life” & see the number of articles has gone now over two fifty & the page views touching to sixty five thousand i.e. that many times my blog has been read, then I have to tell myself this is real! Earlier the subjects were mostly related to real estate or environment, then wild life joined the topics & then right from buying my son Rohit his first bike to letter to Hon Prime Minister, no subject was barred! And when December page opens in calendar I realize of getting one year older & then it’s time to write “Growing Up”! While starting the journey which started from Khamgaon, never had I thought will reach so far especially in a big city like Pune & will make myself some space of my own here!

Though I was or I am never able to write decidingly yet when it’s your birth-day, I take it as writing something like page of the diary or balance sheet of the year gone. Somehow for me birth-day is always like a mile stone where you stop for a while & look back at the journey completed & gather-up your own self for the road ahead. As one by one mile stones you leave behind & start thinking about the ones ahead, you realize what you have lost & what you have gained. For e.g. not very long back game of badminton was part of everyday ritual & game prone injuries were also part of those rituals yet a sprained ankle or back muscle used to get back to normal in a day or two which isn’t is case at forty eighth mile stone. Today also the game is equally dear to mind but body shouts back, “man no more torturing”. So the game has become alternate day from daily & now a back spasm takes even a week to get back the body to get normal! Well this indeed is a loss in the balance-sheet of life but then a shot missed or silly mistake from partner makes me laugh now which earlier used to irritate & shout; this is a gain in balance-sheet! If on one side physic has taken toll of the journey till now then the mind has learned to live instead just flowing along with the rituals of life! The bruises of the body are taking time to heal but mind has become more resilient & adoptive to mental agony, which I am realizing is more important. Just few years ago I used to drive my kids to movies & before I realize now I am no more in driving seat but either of kids who are now taller than me drives me to movie! I look at them & it’s in them I see the years I have put behind!

One more aspect of growing-up is reaction time; earlier anything against my wish or will was immediately thrown away rather rejection was the first reaction. But now the years has taught not to reject even the most non acceptable proposals, take your time & then decide yes or no, is what the milestones I left back tells me! Long back my best friend Vijay has told me, “Sanjay, if you want to say some good words to any person then say them five minute early but if you want to say some bad words then wait for twenty four hours”. Well, back then I even didn’t understand meaning of those words but now I try hard to practice it though yet to master it, I must admit! Rather as I started practicing this concept I realized maximum problems which we see around are because most of us are losing the habit of saying good words about others or we hold them back precisely when they are needed! While growing up what we leave back is innocence & that generates this attitude of holding the things for monitory gains as observe a child, if it’s angry it will show its anger & if it’s happy it will immediately hug you with a big smile! Learning to hide our emotions or what we feel, is a curse the years we put behind gives us & growing up is reversing that curse & be a child again, this I understand now!

Lastly it’s all about the people who have been part of your journey as with age what we lose is ability to make new friends! So to hold on the people all along, who have made your journey wonderful should be true outcome of growing up. And it’s not easy as while you age & gather more years under your belt along with increases your ego too. And that ego makes taking a step back very very difficult as when you were a child or even a teen then making up with a friend after a bitter argument was easy. All you or him has to do is say, “chod na yaar, tere liye kuch bhi” or “yaar I missed you being around so much” & that’s it! But now to say one small word “sorry”, you need to make herculean effort that too should come from within. As “sorry” is something the opposite person should feel & not just hear like other so many words! So while I grow up I am realizing importance of the people in my life who cares for me, may be silently & in their own way yet it’s these people who has made me understand life better & I owe them a lot. And it’s for these people I learned to say “sorry” by meaning it! I think that’s the best gift the people close to you can give you, to make you understand the importance of word “sorry”! Growing up is to understand how to hold the people around you, who has make your life more lively & wonderful!

In this year many things happened, some good & some bad but as they say, the game teaches you both ways; when you win & even when you lose! When you win the game teaches you take the victory with humbleness & when you lose the game teaches you go back prepare hard & come back again play with more determination to win; same way all these good/ bad things has their own impact on me, making me a more better person! The passing years have told me to share what I feel as that makes you to make people in your life to understand you better! And with gift of technology now sharing is at your finger tips & I use it extensively. 

One such small incidence happened very recently which I shared via Whats-ap & FB, will share it here to conclude…

“Blind's Lesson:

Hi frds, something happened with me just now, today & felt like sharing..

After a hectic day i was walking to deccan for another meet & was in foul mood due to so called irresponsible behavior of people on work front & was thinking that today seems a bad day for me. After nal stop near garware college i came across a blind boy walking on footpath with his stick, towards kothrud direction & he looked confused. I stopped by him & asked where he want to go? He said he wants a bus stop; on this i said beta, bus stop is right here, where u want to go? He said he want to go to deccan side but dont know on which side of karve road he is, so got confused! Those innocent words got tears in my eyes, as here i am with all senses fine & working & a car & driver waiting ahead for me, yet i think its a bad day! And this boy cant even know which direction he is going & had to be depend on some unknown person for simplest of thing like locating right bus stop!

I made him sit in bus to deccan, thanked him for opening my eyes & walked to meeting with wet but opened eyes… and suddenly the bad day wasnt now that bad rather has turned wonderful for me!!

frds u too think over hereafter whenever will feel its a bad day!! So shared…

Now analyzing what I shared above, the very same incidence had it happened some twenty years back then at that time I wouldn’t have been walking in first place as then thought I don’t have time to walk, such was busy state of life or at least I used to think so!

Had it been happened some fifteen years back then I would have gone to walk but wouldn’t have noticed the blind boy waiting for help on my walk, so lost in my own world I was then!

Had this been some ten years back then I might have noticed the blind boy standing in mid road & would have make him sit in the PMT bus & then resumed my walk, without paying any attention to what he said to me!

But today not only I listened what the blind boy said about not finding the bus stop & losing the direction sense, which got tears in my eyes but made me think about how lucky I am for what I am & I think that’s what means growing-up! As its has made me more keen observant of surroundings, just like a tissue paper, an ability to absorb everything around me! As unless you have kept that innocent boy within you alive, you ever won’t be able to feel innocence around yourself! Finally we all are going to age every passing day as that’s something nobody can’t stop but we can definitely learn to live with the age in better way & the process is on ever! This is what C S Lewis meant, no age is too old to read fairy tales again & fortunately I still love to get lost in fairy tales especially that of Disney & now I am finding out time also for doing so! Lastly its friends like you who have made my growing-up a wonderful experience, this is the time I must say thanks for it! Like the word “sorry”, “thanks” too is a word to feel than just to say or hear & I mean it for you being in my life!

Sanjay

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Sanjeevani Dev.

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