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My father used to play with my sister and me in the yard. Mother
would come out and say, 'You're tearing up the grass'; 'We're not raising
grass,' Dad would reply. 'We're raising kids”... Harmon Killebrew.
Harmon
Clayton Killebrew Jr., nicknamed ’The Killer’, was an American professional
baseball first baseman. He was a prolific power hitter with his 22-year career
in Major League Baseball with the Minnesota Twins & though I don’t know Haromn’s father but sure with
that kind of Dad, no wonder he become such a prolific hitter of the baseball!
Very recently one of my friends asked me can I write something about Father as
a lot has been written about moms & usually the Father is neglected when it
comes to share the glory especially on family front! Indeed Fathers’ don’t
enjoy much fan-fare & doesn’t have much of literature on them but that’s
bound to happen in a “Men” dominated
society which we are, though we are ridiculous, pathetic & two-faced specie
when it’s about honouring moms (read as women in general) is different subject
of sharing, sometime later!
Ok, so Father’s Day is here, celebrated world wide on 20th
June of the year or may be 3rd Sunday of month of June, by me it
makes hardly any difference as my generation (in forties or fifties) has been
raised where every day was undoubtedly the Father’s Day only! May be that’s why
not much written stuff is there for the father or dad though there has been
some wonderful movies on father son/daughter relationship in Hollywood (Mostly
Disney, who else) like iconic Lion King & recently Good Dinosaur. No wonder
this bond of father has been fascinated to the present crowd puller franchise
of Marvel Super Heroes too! Right from Iron Man bumping in with his dad in time
travel & exchanging some heart touching dialogues in recent Infinity War,
End Game to legendary Black Panther meeting his father’s soul, the dad-son bond
has become backbone to cash on the society’s emotions. Even the ultimate villain
Thanos in Infinity War has a special bond with his adopted daughter Gamora
& loves her to such extent that he has to kill her when the stone keeper
asks him to give away most loved thing to get that stone! And how we can forget
our Bollywood when it comes to father son relation & Tragedy King Vs. Angry
Young Man’s jugalbandi in Shakti where the son on the wrong path has to die at
the hands of father who is a cop i.e. keep of good things ! But as I said most
of these things are to encash emotions & no harm that’s how you make money
in the entertainment industry but when it comes to real life a father is
usually preferred to be kept at the distance by the kids & even the fathers
of my time preferred things that way!
On a very personal note I remember a kissa (incidence) when I was some 12
years old & has been gone to watch a horror movie of Ramsey Brothers (yes
they did produce such movies which were supposedly horror) & when I reach
to the theatre (talkies) the earlier show of 3pm to 6 pm was to finish but
because my dad was known figure in the small town named Khamgaon, the gatekeeper
allowed me to sit in & I watched the end part of that movie first. It was horror
movie & hands of dead coming out of the graves type’s scenes frightened me
to the hilt & I returned to my home leaving my show ahead to watch. To my horror
my dad was at home early that day & asked me why I didn’t watched the movie
& I too was innocent fool (I am still btw) I told him truth that how I
watched end part of the movie & how scary it was & that’s why I came
back home! My dad sent me back & asked (read as ordered) me that only if I will
go back again & watch the movie full then I will be allowed to enter in the
home & he never used to give false threats (one more thing I have learnt
from him) so I went back & now the movie time is 9 pm to 12 pm as that’s
last show available. I watched the entire move with closed eyes & came back
walking alone to my home which was in the outskirts of the town & my dad
was waiting in the front yard of the home for me! This happened forty years back, name of the movie was Hotel
& I still remember every step I travelled that night on way back, my father
may not even remember this as for him it was just another lesson in the class
named life but for me that was first lesson to face my fear & I remembered
it forever!
This is why I can correlate Harmon’s dad so well as from that day I don’t
say I was not afraid of anything, I am still
& of many things but from that day I have never faced off from my
fears & this is why a father is never liked by son or daughter or even the
mom or get respect ( I meant, Dilse) but this is why the father is special as
he know he will be disliked, sometimes even despised by his close ones yet he
keeps doing what he knows best for his family! And may be that’s why the moms always gets all the lime light as
she has to play the good cop role with father as bad cop for the kids yet the
father (most of them) silently accepted the role of the bad cop, just to raise
their kids, that’s why a father is special! Indeed the modern child
psychologist has their own theories & ways to handle the kids & the old
school father are getting replaced by new genre fathers. These new genre fathers
are often called as daddu or even by first name by his kids (a thing which I
can’t dare at age of 52 with my dad), these new dads can take shouting or even
abuse from their kids & smile back in reply of abuse & yes they take their
kids to Daddy’s Day Out type outings & that to the places which the kids
will decide, they don’t ever hit to their kids or raise voice while speaking to
their kids! And yes these new dads don’t carry
their work pressures at home, amazing, wow, wonderful & I am speechless
when I see such dads, well with such dads it’s the moms which ends up as a bad
cop! I respect such dads & I respect child psychology yet somewhere the
stark difference between us & the millennium kids is there, may be that’s
only because of the good cop dads is what my opinion is (very personal)!
Because no harm is smiling, happy, dancing & goody goody dad, all kids will
love such dad (I too would have) but only it’s not enough if you want to reach
your destination as the journey won’t be just through the green grass but one
has to cross deserts & dark forests also & it was the father who used
to train or prepare us for hardships of the life making us exposed to them by
himself & which is not happening now. And
the result is, most millennium kids are unable to suffer or sustain or digest
the defeat on any front of the life, leave apart learning form it & bounce
back, is a hard fact! This is why a tough father is special, as it makes us
rethink about why my dad hit me & how good it was for me in the end! I did it today & I think that made two
tears rolled from my eyes while writing this piece, which is actually a tribute
to my dad, when he will read it, he will know! And yes I know two tears will roll from my dad’s eyes too (just two, not
more) but he will never tell me that, that’s why I love & am proud of my
dad as because of him I am the way I am & this doesn’t mean I have to be
like him for what he did to his son but I will try to be a better one than him as now I too am a father by myself,
I think that’s the best tribute he will expect from me! As there is nothing like a good dad or bad dad but there is
definitely a good son or bad son, depending up on what you take from your dad,
is what I firmly believe!
--
Sanjay
Deshpande
Sanjeevani
Dev.
Please view my sharing about real
estate in Pune at U-Tube link below..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4xX7eopH5o&t=5s
Please do visit my
blog links below to read about real estate & home buying!
https://visonoflife.blogspot.com/2021/01/post-lock-down-real-estate-home-buying.html
http://jivnachadrushtikon.blogspot.com/
Creating Togetherness; team Sanjeevani Way(Click link below)
https://www.flickr.com/photos/65629150@N06/albums/72157627904681345
For any of your complaints about city, log in at link below
www.punecorporation.org
Take your issues to
Hon PM at link below..
Think
Green, Think Life
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Sanjay