Decoding "Baipan Bhari Deva" !

 

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“The worst & toughest enemy to defeat for any woman is mostly a woman & she resides right within the woman only” …

This is not a quote but a statement or say a thought, which came to my mind after watching a Marathi movie named “Baipan Bhari Dewa” which I will use as BBD as short-form here after to save some typing efforts & I am super happy for this sharing as it is about a Marathi movie & core subject of which is very much part of our Maharashtrian Tradition or say culture i.e., Mangala Gaur! Well, those who are non-Maharashtrians & those who are millennium kids (who do not know or don’t give a damn about such traditions) for them, Mangala Gaur is a festival (event for many) which is celebrated by women, mostly married women by coming together on the auspicious day. This includes folk songs (taking digs at the relationships on husbands’ side), games, dance & Ukhane i.e., rhyming with name of husband included in it & many such. Traditionally Mangala Gaur event is supposed to be participated by the newly-wed & married women only but our culture is large hearted enough to accommodate widows too as well any woman irrespective of caste, age, or religion! The basic concept is, earlier the women who were not exposed to the outer world much & didn't get an opportunity to open-up freely (unwinding themselves) can have some fun & is like a stress buster time in our modern corporate culture terminology.  It is a very much traditional Maharashtrian festival & is being celebrated all across the cities, towns & villages too & is deep rooted in local culture!

Now, if you have been enlightened about the Mangala Gaur then let’s see how this occasion has been wonderfully used in the movie. By the way, Mangala Gaur has been used in one of the recent block-buster & big budget movie Bajirao-Mastani with big names like Ranveer singh, Priyanka Chopra & Deepika Padukone, & one item song (well, that’s only term I can use, sorry if it has offended anybody’s emotions) was also there on the occasion of Mangala Gaur with two heroines gyrating on the tune of folk song “Pinga ga bai Pinga,” that’s all I can say about it! Why BBD is different because in one of the rarest times here is a movie which perfectly understands purpose of the festivals like Mangala Gaur, a hundred percent “Desi” thing with story of women build around the festival for the women & in the process makes us understand not only the philosophy of Mangal gaur but makes us think about the role of women at large in the society! Going ahead a step, the movie’s story is an eye opener not for the men but for the women, that is the success of BBD by me & that’s why I took this subject! I am not a movie critic, rather I am of strong opinion of critics as no one has the right to criticize a piece of art in any form because that's the creation of someone else & who are we to name it as good or bad, right? But I can say we can decode the message in that piece of work (read as an art) when it’s a movie or a book & share it as not all those who read or watch can understand the soul of that work, this is my personal view & cleared it as I am not writing to tell you this to judge BBD but to make you know what I have understood from it!

BBD starts also in a typical Hollywood Trend with making you a trip past, to start & then makes you meet with individual characters of which main are, six sisters with an age gap approx. twenty years between the eldest & the youngest siblings, a thing which today’s genre may laugh at but some fifty years back it was normal! Obviously, there is a generation gap between even the real sisters as if the youngest one represents today’s (2023) woman i.e., used to all the modern gadgets & means of communication then the elder ones are still restricted to basics such as calling and messaging only even with the best of the cell phone! As I mentioned, the story starts with celebrations of BBD of these sisters from the birth (of the youngest sibling) i.e., some forty years back & tells us about the bonding they shared & family-tree painted on a blackboard tell us about the way things have gone today. And camera takes us to the present day (just the way MI movies do, please don’t ask its long-form) & here is the real beauty, as Mangala Gaurs are long gone so have gone the sisters bonding as well the years have not just make them age but taken them away from each other’s to such extent that two of the sisters which are working together in a bank behaves with each other as senior & junior staffers, rarely making themselves realize that they are blood sisters! This is where the movie starts telling us about the relationships especially of the women & the stresses of surroundings, they allow it to take toll on them making them forget to share warmth of a wonderful relationship like sisterhood!

As the story unfolds, we get to know the present of all the six sisters & the facts about their respective life with one common thread, none of them is happy or at peace & here is where every woman watching this movie can relate with one of the sister’s characters. As one of them is depressed because she is childless & has been cast away in young age by same age other women. One sister is unhappy because her married daughter is more attached to her Mother-in-Law than the mother & one sister is going through divorce at the age of fifty something as her husband who has chosen her over her sister (again past) for her look now has fallen for a younger girl in his life. One sister is married in a wealthy family but has been always taunted for doing nothing & spending husband’s money so she craves self-respect. Fifth one is married in an orthodox family where she has to surrender her singing passion & doing a job under her younger sister as boss & live a life under constant fear of an ever unhappy & angry father-in-Law & the youngest one is at good post , working but with  a useless, lazy husband who does nothing yet expects his wife to support his laziness!

Now you will say what’s big deal, this happens all around us & there must be millions of women in our society which can resemble with these characters; well, that is the success of the movie BBD! And the best part is, none of these sisters accept that they are having problems in dealing with their respective lives & something can be done about it! Neither they have someone to reach out & share their stress (read as problems) as the bonding between the sisters has long lost for many reasons, most of which are the outcome of distrust as well miscommunication & question is who will take the lead & bridge the gap in the relationship! Here is where Mangala Gaur festival ropes in as one of the sisters to pamper her ego decides to participate in Mangala Gaur competition & again only because she couldn’t find team for doing so, she thinks of her sisters & one by one for individual reasons they join the team & once again all sisters are together on one platform after nearly three decades!  Time has already damaged them physically as well mentally & it’s coming together of the sisters which makes them realize what they were actually missing! One by one the barriers which every sister has built by herself around her breaks down & the story moves ahead.

Best part of BBD is, even the supporting men’s characters also have chosen thoughtfully as they are part of the story yet they are behind the scene for most of the time, it’s their presence in the minds of these women makes us realize the burdens or say nature of their relationships with the opposite-sex they are dealing (or living) with! Slowly the story unfolds & we come to know the real woman behind the face of every sister’s character, & in the process she herself starts knowing her better. As usual (a fact which I personally see around with many women) every sister has shown refusing to have any problem in the life & trying to show everything is normal & fine with her which isn’t the case & in the process gets unhappy, stressed all the time! As the sisters starts meeting more often & frequently for the Mangala Gaur competition practice, they start opening with each other, something they have been missing all these years & that’s what gives them courage or strength to fight with their individual problems, this is the best part of BBD! As may it be dealing with family front , kids, work, irrational men around or dealing with your own past, all you need is someone to share your fears, pain, hurt, past & who better than your real sister for this there can be, as she is part of your past too! And so, the sisters make each other their strength & start dealing with their present to regain not only their childhood bonding but more importantly their own self! The intelligence of the Director of the movie is felt all along, as it’s not been felt necessary to declare the result of the competition & showing the sister’s team as winner as what they really won is their own identity & ability to deal with their problems which is more worthy than any trophy or prize money! Here one more thing for the women who gets thrilled after watching BBD, as do mind, regaining yourself & being able to live your own life doesn’t mean to run away from  your responsibilities or give up the duty & break all relationships, what it means is, only you can balance your happiness with the stresses with ease, that is what life is about!

To conclude, as I have thought of the starting statement about women being the worst enemy of the woman & allowing that enemy to reside within her, there is another side of BBD too! There is a woman within you which can be your best friend too, as it’s how you treat the woman within yourself, will only decide what she becomes for you, your worst enemy or your best friend and “Baipan Bhari Dewa” makes you realize this very basic fact of womanhood, is what I have understood about it, so it’s up to you women, what you make of it, adios with this note!

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Sanjay Deshpande 

Sanjeevani Dev.

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