Saturday, November 11, 2017

Power of Few Good Words!

“Even in the best, the friendliest and simplest relations flattery or praise is necessary, just as grease is necessary to keep wheels turning”… Leo Tolstoy.

Do I need to introduce this name as his above quote is from his novel, War & Piece & I think some names got carved in not just English but world’s literature & Leo Tolstoy is one on the top of that list! Well why I recalled these words about praise because recently my college days room-mate Subodh celebrated his 50th birthday & though that was making me realize about my aging too, yet what was more exiting, he bought a Jaguar  on the occasion! Well, I have seen enough cars & even fleets of luxury cars yet when I remembered our college days together when budget was real tight & coming from a typical middle class family & reaching to this day does makes this Jaguar special & I wrote a letter to subodh about the same. His wife sheetal & subodh, both were too touched with my letter & both replied in wonderful words, especially shital, who said in today’s world where praise is not cheap, especially when no business is involved, your words made our day! It’s sheetal’s these words, which is main reason of my sharing; as really how often & how easily we criticize everything around. Take example of our day start, right from our new paper not coming on time to solar water is not hot enough to our driver coming late on duty to people not picking our calls to traffic delays to demonetization,  GST , our list of criticism is endless & it’s true with everyone. Tell me a person who doesn’t criticize anything or anybody in twenty four hours, even you can ask your own self how many times you kept name or criticize anything rather everything around in a day & then you will realize importance of praise or few good words!

The result is we have forgotten what magic our tongue or our fingers with pen (read key board) can do by using few good words, provided they have been shared from within & not just to gain something out of opposite person. And it’s not necessary that we should praise or say good things about some person only; on some morning stand in your balcony & look at the rising sun, we can admire the sun slowly brightening the horizon & can thank god for giving us such wonderful sight to start the day! Then we can smile at our family members & ask them to witness this beautiful sight & again thank god for making you able to share such small joys with your close ones; have you ever tried it? In our so called busy schedule what we have lost is being thankful or happy for so many good things happening around us because all we have been busy is in complaining or criticizing our own life. You want to take a trial, then ask any person around, how’s life? And see how many people answers back, “life is beautiful’!  Most people will list out numbers of problems they are facing & how their life is more stressful than others & how every other person around is troubling them with his or her incompetency or not being able to deliver what has been expected from him or her & so on! And this is applicable not only to our family or friends but at workplaces also, we have just forgotten the art of appreciating or praising because nobody does it with us & like a multiplying effect we give same criticism back to the world!

Here I will share a folk tale from Mahabharata; when education of Kauravas & Pandavas was complete their Guru Draunacharya gave a simple test to Yudhishthir, the eldest Pandav & Duryodhan, the eldest Kaurav. He gave both of them 100 coins & asked to give it to a person who is most good in nature & come back & tell him whom they have given the coins. At sun set time both Yudhisthir & Duryodhan came back with 100 coins intact, on this the Guru asked why they haven’t given the coins to any person? Duryodhan said, Guruji I met many people but didn’t found one single good person or were bad for some or other thing so I came back with coins as I found no one suitable to give him the coins. Then Guru looked at Yudhishthir (he was also known as Dharma), he sheepishly said Guruji, actually 100 coins were very less as I found every person better than the one I meet earlier so I couldn’t decide who was best & came back without giving coins to anybody, but tomorrow I will go with more coins I give to all as all were good persons!

I think this story says it all, it’s the way we look at the world, world appears to us. I don’t say there is nothing bad in the world but all I will say is if there is bad then there is good also & along with criticizing bad things we must learn to appreciate goodness around. To become like Yudhishthir is very unique & difficult but only way we can turn something bad in to good is by appreciating it, at the same time if we neglect or just keep naming then even the good will turn in badness! And when in our so called busy routine we don’t have time to utter few good words about some ones achievement then to find out time & write few words is out of imagination for many is a sad fact. In the era of FB & Whats-ap we share just forward & we are losing originality of our own good thoughts by not taking them to our lips or on paper, let’s try it & see how they can change the people! And problem is right from our childhood, from our parents to our teachers, all wants us to win the race of life by leaving others behind. But no one teaches us, race winning is important but how many hearts you win along is also equally important, because a true leader is not the one who goes ahead of all but a true leader is the one who takes all the team ahead along with himself. And this is possible only by acknowledging goodness around & in every individual! Below are the very words I wrote for my friends’ achievement, which is cause of my sharing & made my day in return!

10 11 17

Dear Subodh & Shital, your Jaguar!

"Happiness does not come from doing easy work but from the afterglow of satisfaction that comes after the achievement of a difficult task that demanded our best"... Theodore Isaac Rubin.

Theodore Isaac Rubin is an American psychiatrist and author. Rubin is a past president of the American Institute for Psychoanalysis and the Karen Institute for Psychoanalysis. And in so wonderful words he has defined achievement relating it to happiness, no wonder he is not just a psychiatrist but a great human being too! Dear Subhya when I saw snap of yourself with Shital & your Jaguar on our college whats-ap group, these were the feelings which came to my mind as my mind zoomed past in our Wadnere hostel days & I remember YP Shinde has first got a TVS moped & entire hostel got down to have a look at it & everyone was asking him for one ride. And then another memory flash I saw, it’s our college's parking lot & we all used to come on our run down M-50 (not concrete but moped) or Lunas & boys like Kochar's & Behel’s used to zoom in with Nakhai Nedha on back seat with then latest Yamaha RX 100 or Suzukis & we just kept looking at them, though we were happy yet at that time secretly we all must have dreamed, some day we too will have such bike. At that time even our dreams were small like our world which was a 10' x 10' room sharing basis, our moped in which we could hardly fill one liter petrol at a time & we used to care about average of our moped & that's all, life was wonderful!

Time flew & we grow up by age, by work, by earnings also & now suddenly for many of us owning a car was no more a dream but a necessity & sure we all have at least one car with us; yet somewhere within, each of us was carrying that teen age college boy in dark blue trousers & sky blue shirt with tie around neck & dream of a bike, place of which now has been taken by a posh car, with passing years! Best part is not you bought Jaguar because you have that much money or earned that much money, best part is you kept that dream alive & achieved it & made it reality! Subhya we all have memories cherished of our first Luna or M 50's, sure you also  remember your KB 100 as well we all have pride in our first car, yet a boy coming from typical middle class, like most of us are & buying car like Jaguar which is status symbol for super riches of the society, man this is our reply to all those who looked down at us as gaothi town boys, yes we are not just at par with you but a step above & we have earned it not by inheritance from our parents but we earned it through our hard-work, knowledge, goodness & attitude; in a way we deserve this more than any of you guys! It’s said that some loans you carry for years & can repay however old you have grown & this feeling on me was like a debt & when I saw your snap on my cell, I felt today that debt has been re-payed & I am sure everyone on group must have felt so!

Best part is I am most happy for your parents as our kids may not feel the importance of this your achievement as they have been born or grown up seeing their parents well settled life style. But it’s our parents who understands how much our generation has been deprived from the luxuries of life, I repeat that doesn’t meant we were unhappy yet it’s our generation only which used to stand at JM road's shops windows & realizing the empty pockets never dared to went inside the shop & inquired the price of goods in the showcases, is equally true! So the pride in their eyes after looking for what you has achieved, I think must have been worth of your Jaguar. Here I share my personal memory, in entire engineering time my mother has kept her gold bangles in her school's co-operative bank to pay my hostel as well college fees as co lateral security for loan & during that all time in most of the functions she used to went without golden bangles. This I didn't even knew but few years back she told me casually this thing; so on her one birthday I took her to PNG Jeweler shop at Laxmi road  & asked to buy anything she liked there & man, the expressions on her face after listening my those words was my best ever return gift; I am sure your parents also has sacrificed on many fronts to make you reach this level & so we all have some story behind us! I think we all share these values as well live by them as our best asset & this is what makes your Jaguar more beautiful than any other Jaguars I have seen around, as no more it’s just a most luxurious sedan but its symbol of our journey to this date! 

Thanks dost making all of us happy by your achievement as that is what friendship meant, you feel happy with happiness of your friends & it makes you sad for any bad thing happens with your friends; may you keep rising high & keep making your friends proud & guys this may be first Jaguar but sure Subhya has lead the way & may we all follow the path is all I can pray for us!  

Three Cheers for Subhya & Shital !! 


Sanjay Deshpande 
Sanjeevani Dev.

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