--
“There is but one truly serious philosophical problem and that is suicide. Judging whether life is or is not worth living amounts to answering the fundamental question of philosophy. All the rest — whether or not the world has three dimensions, whether the mind has nine or twelve categories — comes afterwards. These are games; one must first answer.”
― Albert Camus
Albert Camus was a French philosopher, novelist, author, dramatist, journalist, world federalist, and political activist. He was the recipient of the 1957 Nobel Prize in Literature at the age of 44, the second-youngest recipient in history. And like all genius he was also intrigued with suicide & has written extensively on the subject! BTW, Mom’s bday & Suicide of youngsters, weird mix of topic, isn’t it? You will frown for sure but somehow while I was writing to my mom on her 80th bday (a mile stone) I came across news about IIT’s / IIM’s taking efforts about restricting suicides of their students & I personally felt mom’s role is very important on this aspect than anybody else so I mixed it up in this sharing! Well, suicide is a very emotional subject & personal too, at the same time I am not at all a right person to comment on these aspects as personally I am emotional but I believe in controlling them & not to get controlled by the emotions! It's a tough thing to understand & even tougher to adopt, which I keep trying always, but that’s not the subject! Point is, in the last six months more than ten students from the only two above-mentioned institutes, have decided to end their lives for reasons known to them only but at large we can say pressure of success or say career! And not just IMI or IIT but very recently one cadet from the NDA (plz google for all short-forms) an institute which is supposed to make toughest of the officers which will be ready to give their live in the line of duty i.e. Armed Forces, killed himself & sure he too was not the first taking such step during training of NDA! Well, there has been suicide attempts all over the world & even the so-called successful men & women have chosen this way of ending their lives but opting for ending life option when you journey in the practical world has not even started, that’s something alarming & not right, which is why I thought of taking this subject along with mom!
First & foremost, what must be happening in the minds of these youngsters who have battled successfully to get through competition of millions of students & reach in institutes like IIM, IIT or NDA, is something worth studying(and thinking also). You have brains, you have ability to slog, you have determination, you must be a good reader because all these qualities are a must (in most candidates) to crack entrance exams of these institutes, yet when you get in here then you break-down to such level that you feel ending life is the easiest way out, why? The answer lies (my version) in two-fold things, one is you get burnt out or exhausted till you reach at this stage i.e. qualifying entrance exams of these institutes & getting in & your mental barriers has taken so much hits that even a small act can make you collapse & outcome is ending self-life! Second version is, your expectation’s level from your own self along with the society (people around you) that you crumble under it. It's like fear of always coming first which a topper only can understand. In simple words, first is clearing the entrance exam to IIT, second is again keeping the lead in that institute & third is, getting good placement while you are still learning! And do mind in an institute like IIT or IIM its fight between equals as most of the students which gets in here have fought hard to reach here & are used to do best in their respective groups so keeping yourself in the front of such bunch is more cutthroat & not many can stand that fight as already, they are exhausted!
Here is where the next topic of today’s sharing i.e. Mom's role, comes in to the picture as the institutes may be doing their things for keeping students at peace, the real & the only person which can make the difference to refrain the students not just from suicides but entire negativities of life is your mom! And I am not burdening any mom with this additional responsibility neither I am making any of the moms responsible as no mom ever will wish her son or daughter ending his or her life for any reason & won't train them for such outcome. I am blaming the students (yes blaming) as this genre in the zest of success has forgotten to pay attention to the lessons from the best institute in the world i.e. their mom! Right from childhood mom is the one who knows her kid best & tries to teach them to survive in the right way in life. She may not be able to teach you maths or chemistry or economics, she may not be smart enough to operate an iPhone or make a PPT on laptop & she may not be even able to read google maps but one thing she knows sure far better than you & that is to stand to the pressure of expectations & digest negative taunts (trolling) from close ones for failures, which she knows is not a failure yet she keeps on! Your mom may be doing a job or just taking care of daily chores of house (I hate the term house wife as it’s an insult the way that term is used, rather House CEO is the right word) she has to stood expectations of every member living in the home & even non-living members also, whom we call a larger family. And these excitations include your own study output, too ironing clothes of your dad to keeping home clean to attending all family events to preparing food as per taste buds of every member & the list is on & on top of it, she doesn’t get paid for any of these jobs but when she fails to deliver as per needs or wish (read as whims) of an individual then she has to accept taunts for her incapability! Guys, just by observing the way your mom does all these things in your home & keep smiling (oh yes, that I forgot to mention, the mom is supposed to be happy & smiling all the time, that’s her prime job in home), this is live tutorial of how to face adversities & overcome them, is what I wanted to tell you today! Guys, I am not any philosopher or social media life Guru to tell you things such as, "life is beautiful, know yourself, let it go or stress is in allowing fear to win you", type things! But I will definitely tell you this, I was lucky to have a mom who knew the way to live & I kept observing her & adopting whatever I can & it has helped me a lot to stay on the right track of life! Because, as have I said already, every mom in itself is an institute of life & we get free admission in that institute & if we fail to learn from her then it's our fault & not of that institute’s! Your mom does want you to come first in every exam but never at the cost of your life, mind this always! Understand what she wants you to become & then you will realize many things about success which you have misread which is the real reason of stress & fear, is what I feel! No exam in life is last & nothing is more precious than your own life as only if you are alive then you can achieve what you want to achieve, is what your mom is silently telling you all along but you turn a blind eye towards her teachings! The time hasn’t run out still, just rewind tape of your times in the past with your mom & watch , listen carefully once again what she was trying to tell you by her actions & may be suicide can take a backseat & you will find an easier way to deal with your problems at hand & trust me biggest gift for your mom is not you coming first in any exam or fat package job you get in the campus interviews but you alive & at peace & happy is her biggest gift which is your responsibility & duty too, to give that gift to her!
Now, the second aspect of my sharing, my letter to my mom, do go through as you may find some answers to problems you are facing, is all I will say & do share with your friends too as he or she may not be as lucky as you to even have a mom in the first place…
19th Oct 25
Happy Bday!
A Mom is actually like a bank account from which you can keep withdrawing forever & it won’t ever say, “No Balance”…
Aai,
Today on your 80th bday (well, due to shastrachandra darshan ceremony I realized it) above words which I have always used for my one of the most favorite books (bank) Zen Speaks, I thought of using for you. Two reasons, as the book reading habit (passion actually) is a gift by you only & second, if Zen Speaks is a bank for wisdom, then you are a bank for care, love, affection & most importantly rightness! As for different purposes we have different banks yet the aim of banking is supported by lending, so are you & the books too! Today, it’s not important how many years you have completed as thanks to your Cobra genes you were never much fond of the goody-goody or some mushy talks, & unfortunately you have gifted myself & neeta with that attitude, so let’s cut it off! Aai, this is the generation of thanklessness or say foolish selfishness where kids bluntly tell parents, what’s big deal you have done this or that for us as that’s your responsibility but when it’s time to follow their own responsibility then royally turns a blind eye towards the same & I am lucky that you always taught us for being responsible towards our success as well towards our failure too & that has helped us to keep on the right track!
Today, I won’t say you did this or your done that for us as the list is too big to cover in any letter but I will like to mention few aspects or qualities which you induced in us (as I am writing on behalf of neeta also) & I am not doing this to flatter you but for those (next genre) who will be reading my words (hopefully)! First & foremost, you wanted us to be successful but not once did I remember that you ever wanted us or asked us to make money! This still remains a big thing for me as it has taught me the importance of success without being blinded by the money aspect of it! At the same time, you made me realize the value for money concept which still stands very much important for me while doing business, that every rupee counts! Then comes aspect of rightness, which is the biggest gift you have given me without you even knowing what you have gifted to me as good & bad keeps changing as per the situation or convenience of a person but right & wrong rarely changes the side & only the upbringing which you made us to live by has done it. Today, may it be messaging in time for not being available for dinner or not choosing easy or fast way to the destination because it’s not right path, all this I am able to do in my little way because you made me able to define my right & wrong & gave me courage to stand by them, without feeling guilty or ashamed or ego!
I know you will say you have done nothing of all these things & you are right, as you were & will be a hard-core teacher & a teacher teaches syllabus without being bias toward the students in the class & from the same class one student can become right guy but another can end up as wrong guy, that’s not fault of the teacher! I was lucky to end up as the right one, because I believed in whatever you taught me or tried to teach me, is all I can say! Yet, let me confess, I was, am not always right & was able to live by what you have expected me to be & I have done wrong things in life, some I can undo, many I won’t ever but today let me confess a few more things! I am not afraid to face the consequences of the wrong things I have done in my life, as I know I did wrong & this doesn’t mean I want to label them right as if I am wrong then I am wrong & I will take that as my learnings & will try to be right as much I can! This part is important for rohit , rohan & other next younger genre I deal with as I will try to be as much right as I can for them so the torch with which you have shown the path to us, I will try to keep it burning when I am the torch bearer! So, if I say thanks then please take it as a right gesture but I know real thanks which you will be excepting from us is, our actions towards the life which I promise to do my best, as that’s the return gift you will love to have, always!
Sanjay, Neeta, Rohit, Rohan, Paulomi, Kiran, Ketki, Nikhil, Hemangi, my friend circle, team Sanjeevani and yes, Bagira!
-
Sanjay Deshpande
Sanjeevani Dev.
Please view my sharing about finding a Right Home/ Office in Pune, at YouTube link below & share if liked...
https://youtu.be/27j3I3rwGPQ?
Please do visit my blog links below to read about real estate & home buying!
https://visonoflife.blogspot.
https://jivnachadrushtikon.
Creating Togetherness; team Sanjeevani Way (Click link below)
https://www.flickr.com/photos/
For any of your complaints about city, log in at link below
www.punecorporation.org
Think Green, Think Life
