Friday, May 1, 2020

Getting Used to Locked Down!

“Time is never wasted, what you waste is your own life”...

Indeed time is crawling as with nearly 40 days of lockdown, most have even stopped counting days as in Pune region it seems even the second edition (third actually) of lockdown is likely to get extension. So, I too geared up for philosophy about the time & its utility. As right from office work to perusing personal hobbies to public relations & social work also, nothing stops at least not for forty days & I am not referring to myself but for every one of us! We are so used to some routine whatever it may be but each of us that some break we all need & we have it in the form of outing which we call holiday. But to be locked in our own home & still call it as a break is something not many of us are comfortable with! Now the first shock wave of locking down is over as well the fear wave is receding as the virus will remain here for a while is what most of the people (who cares) has understood & accepted, so now it’s about adjusting the routine ahead, isn’t it?

Major problem with many (read as man of the house) was & is, to adjust with people at home all the time especially with kids & that includes kids of all age groups. I know as usual most men will boost that they have great bonding & rapport with their kids & absolute no problem but then most men rarely accepts their weakness (read as failures) especially on personal fronts! So, no wonder that you will get to see posts of FB as well Insta about how a man is enjoying doing daily chores with the family during lockdown & how wonderful he feels, but that’s mask of a family man as or else all the jokes of whatsap hasn’t been shared (read as forwarded) so many times which all revolves around a man getting bored & bugged by home duty! Well, the scene isn’t different for the woman of the house also but that’s different story & a woman is something even gods haven’t understood, so I focus myself on the man of the house & the kids. Where the kids are yet in schools, the problems may be bit less as they still are supposed to (not used to) follow orders & more mummy oriented, so the daddy gets breather as well they don’t much interfere in daddy things!  But the teens as well more than teens, well I am sure my genre must be having great time knowing about their siblings. Each of us, ask your own self when last you have spent more than three straight days at your home, not going out anywhere & fully with your grown up kids? I bait not even one man will say, I did; as that was never imagined & here we are, already spent nearly forty days & sure many ahead for Pune , Mumbai region! So, what you have done in last forty days except counting days is what one should ask his self & write down, seriously, it will be a great soul searching (read as self knowing). Do include how you find your kids individually (if more than one) as well do ask your kids how they find you (your behavior) in this period as a father, as a man of the home! As right from sharing TV time to helping for home things to chatting with them on different subjects to making them realize how this thing is going to change life or knowing what they think about the impact on their life or future, so many things you must have discussed (if not, than try it).  So, when this lockdown as well epidemic ends (some day it will) , whether it has made any change in you or you will be back to yourself, the way you were before lock down, is what will decide what you are really within!

Well, about myself, there has been clashes, heated arguments as my two sons are well grown up & sharing is something they have bit forgotten as well none of them was used to spend so much time (read as all the time) at home & handling each other full time. And I can understand it’s an open jail or let’s say that Big Boss thingy (I have never once watched that) actually where few people are confined together in a home & are not allowed to leave the home without permission of some unseen Big Boss entity! Here too, many of us has started again knowing each other after staying so many days together; strange isn’t it, as some days in real closeness of a person & we come to know how less we were knowing him or her actually even with years of so called togetherness! And it tests your nerves as it’s difficult to accommodate people all the time around you but actually it’s more difficult to digest that you can’t even walkout from the scene! Surprisingly with nature of my work & thanks to my hobbies of writing or reading or thinking as well having luxury of staying next to my work place, I could keep myself much at ease (cool) in compare to many others (till now at least), is what my sons’ commented which I take it as a praise. Yet when you are a father you need to do the daddy stuff i.e. play it cool, even the praise from your kids & keep lecturing them in your own way, so I did! Here is something I shared to my sons; many will find its boring as personal stuff but then what better way to share than sharing personal example of handling lockdown at home there could have been! And then you always have an option while reading to quit... lol. Btw its whatsap message, so forgive the language on grammar front!

Dear chota (& dada) read what I am writing keenly as no one else will take efforts to write or care to tell u these things (is what I think)...

U r 23 plus & indeed u r a good but no more a boy, u r young man & difference between a boy & a man is, a man knows & acts on his own. Difference between good man & rest others is a good man knows what to do & why, in greater good for all, then only u end up earning respect!! Right  now u are obeying what I tell u but it’s not the goal, agreed we all are tied up to home but ur mind is not tied or lockdown rather we only can lockdown our mind which most of people does despite this physical lockdown that’s why they can’t achieve what they want to!
Even in these times u can  make ur own schedule & just an hour u can keep for video game type  entertainment, I am not against video game as now u or dada don’t have studies yet real life exams are ever on now  is what I both are forgetting! Whatever initiatives I am asking u to do, right from social work to make e brouture or following people & conference calls, all this can come to your mind also but it doesn’t as ur mind is yet not tuned to what u want to really become!! 

A lion can make a kill & give it to his cub & his cub may click a snap with the kill & post snap on Insta, will the world believe its kill by d cub?  Mind it, if u want to take the ship further ahead, u only have to take steering in hand & no one will tell u that. 

Now about taking ship of any business in hand, here the only way to do it is first gain respect in the minds of the crew for what u are by ur knowledge & commitment towards the job at hand & not by whom u are born to! And knowledge doesn’t come by keeping awake late, playing video games & waking up late!! Read, watch, speak, listen, think, share & ask; are the only ways to gain knowledge! I won’t now say do this & do that as that phase is gone for u both, all I can do is put in front of u what I think or feel about u &  u both are free to chose what to take out of it!
It’s like a buffet now, as till now life was order oriented & u were getting served what I ordered. But in buffet  choice is urs only & do mind in buffet most men end up eating  what they like to eat & not always what we like most, is good for health!!

Every genre thinks next generation is luckier than theirs as u got so many things which we never dreamt off but I never think so, as nothing in life comes free even if u may feel so. Your challenges are far bigger & different, like the perks u have got in life & my genre has given ur generation all the perks but most of us has forget, to give the strength or capacity to  digest or carry those perks was also ours & we blame you guys for our failures of doing so!

But then if 50% fault lies with us then u, who are now young men also are responsible as the way  u demanded the perks from us, u should demand the strength also to carry the load of the perks which as a man is expected from u! 

Life somewhere in growing up becomes an open school , class is on, if u want to join & learn or bunk it & get lost in fun till it’s too late to get back in the class, u only have to decide , of-course if at all someday u want to become a class teacher by yourself, then only!

So, think what I have said & why & act up on if feel it’s useful as believe me nobody bothers what u become in ur life, except two or three persons & I happen to be one of them!!

If u read till this line, I will feel great, if not, well I am a class teacher & my class continues, awaiting students who wants to walk in & learn!! 


Sanjay Deshpande 
Sanjeevani Dev.

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