Monday, December 14, 2015

Sharing of a Forty Seven Year Old Kid!

“Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again.”… C.S. Lewis

Clive Staples Lewis was a British novelist, poet, academic, medievalist, literary critic, essayist, lay theologian, broadcaster, lecturer, and Christian apologist & a man who himself write a fairy tale like “The Chronicles of Narnia”! Tonight while completing forty seventh year of life, I reread this quote to myself, which is on my office room soft board also! Some three years back while completing forty four years & entering in forty fifth year I wrote about myself naming the sharing as  “Growing Up” but never thought that in merely three years will be writing again about the same topic but then maybe that’s what Growing Up is about. In these three years so many things happened, that way in every year or in single day a lot can happen yet three years is also a big span.
In three years time span so many things happened & a book of my all sharing has been published which I never dreamt of & then my full page interview in news paper Sadhyanand as well Aaj ka Anand, these are the papers may be not as popular as other daily’s yet I used to refer them to watch which cinema hall is playing which movie in our college days & here is my interview in it! So many people called me reading that & it was as exciting as getting some grand prize, talking to each of them! Writing in Sakal become a habit in these three years & then on work front Team Sanjeevani brand got stable & it’s not only the projects but a team got built up in these three years! These three years saw my school going kids entering in to their teens & see them going to college & before I could realize they have lost in their world leaving the father in me behind! I made new friends & many old friends got so busy in their responsibilities that it’s just whatsap group sharing now, though the whatsap has been a boon to rejuvenate many dried up friendships as well relations! I was always diehard fan of cartoons & used to take my as well others kids to the movies, I still love cartoons but now I can’t take my kids to watch the movies at my will, this also I realized in these three years! My forest trips increased in these years & so did the experiences about the forest. We as a society took a historic step in getting in to Green tribunal against the sound pollution by the marriage lawns surrounding our residence & won too, again something I never thought would happen! And my lectures as well sharing with different audiences grew in these three years making me more flexible as you can’t speak the same language to all the audience as or else you become a coded program; this too I realize in these three years!

So many things I started to realize which I wasn’t able to see earlier or rather feel is better term to describe the phenomenon! After all I have grown up by just three years but if counted in experience it’s like three times the span of the time I have crossed, as after all how we measure experience? Is it just the time spent by the scale which our watch displays or what happens in that time is the experience? I feel it’s not how much time we have travelled but what happened during that time is what makes us grow up. And more importantly what you learn out of what you have witnessed is what decides you have grown up just in terms of age or money or knowledge or you have really understood that what you have become eventually. 

Its forty seven years you have put behind, when you think it makes you sad if you think that you have aged now but think in reverse way, how much lucky you are to survive these many years & able to analyze what you have become in all these years. It’s like a watching a video tape of our own past & yes its fun as you realize so many things you have done in past in all together different dimension. Yes its these three years where I started having my own time travels just to make sure that I don’t repeat my mistakes of past as well I can have a better present way to live! It’s said that every car has a rear view mirror but you don’t drive all the time looking in rear view mirror; true but once in a while we all do & that does keep us on course. I stared understanding use of rear view mirror in daily life, in these three years better!

The major impact it made is I started taking even my criticism with better ease which I wasn’t earlier & I think that’s biggest lesson the years taught me. We always have two choices act or react; I started acting instead reacting. My dear friend Vijay used to tell me, when you are angry delay your any decision for twenty four hours; earlier I was able to delay hardly twenty four minutes but now with use of rear view mirror I can at least stretch myself to twelve hours if not twenty four! One of my equal dear friends wished me that, “may the birthday makes you stronger to protect your softness & gentleness within”. Earlier I would have thought there is some mistake in the message as how can one be strong & soft at a time? But now I can at least think on those words instead laughing at them or rejecting them with a shrug!

Rejection, this is something I learn to overcome in these three years more better way. It’s easy to reject anything but joke is when it comes to reject a negative thought; we often fail in doing that. Instead we easily reject someone’s positive suggestion or an idea to make us a better person. I think the root cause lies in the fact that we are afraid of change & that why we reject any change, because that’s natural reaction of most people. We feel rejection is easiest way to show our authority or power. And in the process we forget growing up as after all age too is a form of change, which become pleasant with acceptance & not rejection.  The real strongness of mind is in accepting change with ease without losing what we are from within. But at the same time if we have any badness within then we should be strong enough to acknowledge the bad part of us & remove it. As my many friends of my age strait way rejects idea of watching a cartoon movie, saying it’s for kids only! Well & these very same friends when I share this quote of Picasso with them, “we all have a child within & it’s important to keep the child alive when we grow”, they praise me for my wisdom! How we are going to keep the child within alive if we don’t feed him what he needs to survive? is the question I want to ask my all friends! And for that right from watching cartoon movies to sometimes trying to count the stars in the sky to trying to catch a falling leaf from a tree while you are on your walk, every small & foolish looking act is most important, is what I have realized more prominently in these three years! We have loads of sharing on whatsap but we rarely try to create something of our own & by me clicking selfies is not a creation. We have forgotten to act foolish & that’s what is killing the child within us & for that we should stop rejecting things before analyzing them.

Lastly comes the sharing & sharing as I said doesn’t mean forwarded philosophy, it’s fine & nothing wrongs as forwards also has potential of knowledge but then at least sometimes do share whatever your original thoughts are with your close ones as it will make them realize what you are. As then only they can show you what you are & there lays the path of real growing up. Our family & friends are like our mirrors which may not be showing us our outer looks but they show us our true face & for that we should not wear mask of forwards all the time with them. Agreed we all need to wear mask most of the time but if its making our own self forget what we are, then what’s use of such masks? Growing up is being able to live without wearing mask as much time you can & still be happy & at peace; I think it’s a long journey which I could make in mere three years to understand importance of unmasking myself & credit goes to everyone of you around me who has showed me my real self!!  It indeed was a weird abstract sharing but then that’s the way kids make a painting. So take it as a painting of a forty seven year old kid, made by words, it’s the best way I can describe this sharing; as all I will say is I want to grow up like a kid!

Sanjay Deshpande 

Sanjeevani Dev.

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